NDR -> MDR -> LDR: Going Abroad with a Significant Other

My boyfriend and I started dating in September 2021 and celebrated our one year anniversary the week I planned on leaving for Europe. We met when we were both Resident Advisors at UNC Greensboro, so not only were we attending the same school, but we lived and worked in the same building (we were actually duty partners - something randomly determined before we started dating). From September 2021 through May 2022, we were in a NDR, or, a no distance relationship.

Once summer came, we transitioned to a MDR, or medium distance relationship, for the summer. The two of us lived approximately 2 hours away, which meant we had plenty of times for weekend trips and short visits to see each other. All throughout the summer, we began preparing to be in a long distance relationship, or LDR.

You might think that being in an LDR isn't something that needs a lot of planning, but I beg to differ. We began sharpening our communication skills and used our medium distance to find new ways to support each other from afar. We talked in depth about our love languages and how we can still meet the others needs, even when we were separated by thousands of miles. We looked for virtual date ideas and ways to stay connected to each other while I was in Europe. We also began collecting little keepsakes that reminded us of each other and were small enough to carry in a suitcase.

So what specifically did we do?

• As an anniversary gift, I got us Bond Bracelets. If you've never heard of them, they're perfect for when there's some distance between you and your partner. You can send a series of vibrations from your bracelet to your partners and they'll receive it in real time. It's one of the best purchases I've made and one of my partner's favorite gifts! For 2, I paid about $120.

• The summer leading up to my departure, I wrote little notes for my partner. I wrote one for every day that I would be gone (plus extras) and also included specific notes for special occasions. I also collected some small gifts I knew he would enjoy to open throughout the time I was gone.

• We made little crafts together! Small paintings, a book of letters to each other, a book about our relationship, a rear view mirror hanger, etc. We also got little best friend pins, he kept one half and I kept the other. Just small tokens and memories that we could carry with us.

Long distance relationships are hard, and I'm really lucky that my partner is coming to visit me over his winter break (which is pretty much the entire month of December). It gives us something to look forward to and a countdown of days to when we'll get to see each other. Just remember: it will only work if you put in the effort. I hear a lot about how relationships are supposed to be easy and natural, but when you're doing a new thing like long distance, it won't be easy or feel natural. Putting in the effort to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner will save your relationship.

In order: Cameron and I at his undergraduate graduation, Cameron and I at our first couples photoshoot, Cameron and I at a Drag Brunch we attended with friends, and Cameron and I at McLaurin Farms